1. “I Don’t Like Your Friends.”
You don’t like her friends. It happens. It actually happens often. In fact, she doesn’t really like your friends, but she probably won’t come right out and say it. Unless the women she spends time with are horrible influences on her life, or do things to jeopardize your relationship, there is really nothing you can do about her circle of friends.
Instead Say: “We should meet some new people.”
Every couple has other couples they regularly hang out with. A new couple might be the solution to your issue with her friends: She makes new friends and spends less time with the old crew.
2. “Are You Putting On Weight?”
This one barely needs explanation. If she’s put on weight, chances are she’s already well aware of that herself. The last thing she needs is for her boyfriend to point it out.
Instead Say: “Let’s do something active today. I’m feeling out of shape.”
If you do believe she’s putting on weight, then your ultimate goal is for her to eat better and exercise. Instead of letting her know that you’ve noticed she’s gone up a size or two (and trust us, she knows already), shift the focus to committing to being healthier together. The focus will then be on sharing healthy activities together, rather than on her weight gain.
3. “You Look Awful In That Outfit.”
Men make jokes or just openly complain about the amount of time a woman spends getting ready. Looking good takes time and women spend a good portion of that time in preparation — from picking out clothes and shoes to the color of her hair and nails. Even the best of preparation doesn’t ensure she’ll be happy with the result, so saying she looks bad in an outfit shows zero consideration.
Instead Say: “I just don’t like that outfit.”
If you must voice your displeasure in her appearance, it’s best to blame the outfit and not the person underneath. If you don’t like the way she looks in a dress, shirt or sweatshirt that graduated college with her, make it about the faults of the material. If you want to soften the blow, package the critique with a compliment so it doesn’t sound like she’s the unattractive piece of the puzzle. “I don’t think that color works with your skin tone” or “That dress is making you look heavy in places that you’re not” are at least softer ways of putting down her clothing choices.
4. “You Should Meet My Family.”
Meeting the family is a huge deal for women. It can often make or break a relationship and women view the moment as the next huge step in a relationship. It’s a huge step and one that guys don’t necessarily understand the importance of because we tend to do it more often than women. Men introduce a romantic partner to our families, not always because we feel it’s time, but often because it gets them to stop asking about the woman we’re .
Instead Say: “Would you like to meet my family?”
She should meet your family. She should meet your family when you’re ready. She should meet your family when she’s ready. Just because you’re ready doesn’t mean she’s ready. Proposing it as a question means you’re ready for her to meet your family, but she has the option of saying yes or no based on her own feelings.
5. “Do You Want To Come Back To My Place?”
The night is wrapping up and the date is going incredibly well. You don’t want to make assumptions, so you drop the question, offering to move the night back to your place. Of course you want her to go back to your place after a date, but phrasing the question in this manner makes it feel like sex is expected. There are ways to get her back to your place without being so blunt, and frankly, putting her on the spot.
Instead Say: “I just don’t feel like the night should end here.”
This works for two reasons: There isn’t a question that needs to be answered so, in case the answer is no, she doesn’t have to come right out and reject the offer. The second reason it works is because it gives her the chance to make the suggestion. She might say, “Let’s go back to your place,” or even suggest her place. Either way, the choice is hers to make the offer without feeling pressured to answer in the moment.