Had enough of bachelordom? Not looking forward to spending another Friday night alone watching “Entourage” and/or out with the boys singing drunken, off-key renditions of Journey songs? Think your time would be better spent curled up on the couch (or better yet bed) with a beautiful woman? If so, you’re not alone. Most sane men would rather be dating and enjoying the company of an attractive woman than living in the state of excruciating limbo better known as singlehood. Being so, you’ve got lots of competition. But fear not single man! You might be just one of a few billion available dudes, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have a fair shot at finding a great girlfriend. If you play your cards right, you’ll score the woman of your dreams. Wondering how to get a girlfriend? Read on…
Get Off Your Ass and Get Out There
In case you weren’t already aware, you’re not going to find a great girlfriend sitting at home watching reruns of “Rescue Me” and/or playing Xbox. The first step in finding a girlfriend is putting yourself out there. Whether you do it online (e.g. , OkCupid) or out in public (e.g. clubs, bars, any place but Burger King), you’ve got to hang where the type of woman you’re looking for hangs. Love music? Hit up the local rock club and find the girl with AC/DC tattoo. Passionate about hang gliding? Join the local hang gliders club (if there is such a thing) and scope out extreme chicks.
Once you’ve chosen your venue, virtual or actual, it’s time to put your best foot forward. This doesn’t mean tossing out tired pick-up lines and fronting like you’re some sort of Don Juan (you’re not quite there yet.) It means being yourself and being confident. No women will be interested in you if you don’t first believe in yourself. This is what’s known as inner game. Step up to the plate!
When you’ve finally realized how awesome a dude you are and how good of a shot you actually have at landing a great girlfriend, go in for the approach. If you’ve got a good joke, let it out. If you’ve got dance moves on par with Michael Jackson, bust out the Moonwalk already.
Do what works for you and you’re sure to earn the attention of a woman who, first and foremost, likes you for you, a key characteristic of any potential girlfriend. Once you’ve caught her eye, the next step is keeping her interested.
Strike a Balance Between Indifference and Interest
So, you’ve got her attention without creepily showing up at her job every day or hiring a plane to fly a banner over her house. Good job! Now’s the hard part. Once you’ve gotten a woman’s attention, you’ve got to go in for the kill ASAP. You need to build a connection with her before she loses interest. This is tricky. You’ve got to show her you’re attracted without looking like she’s on your mind 24/7. Play it cool, but show her you’re actually interested in her life. If she goes on about her amateur baton twirling career for half an hour, suck it up and smile.
Skirt the fine line between indifference and interest.
Take a cue from history’s great writers: show, don’t tell. Don’t come out and say “Hey, umm, are we like girlfriend and boyfriend?” Show her you want it by flirting and touching, by taking her out to places she likes, by surprising her with roses, etc. Just do it all without being pushy or coming off like you’ve never dated before (you have though, haven’t you?)
Be an upstanding guy, but do your best to maintain an air of mystery. If you can somehow find a middle ground between James Bond (uber-cool, international spy) and any old John Cusack role (down-to-earth, lovable), you’ve got it made. Women don’t want mega-macho dudes, but they don’t want super cute and fuzzy man-boys either.
Maintain interest every day and she’ll transform from someone you’re merely “seeing” to a bona fide girlfriend. Actually, it takes a bit more than that…
How to Find a Girlfriend from “That Girl You’re Seeing”
It’s been a few weeks/months and you and mystery girl are really hitting it off. The sex is great, the conversations are equally stimulating and you’re both having fun. You’re golden, right? Nope. Your work is far from over. Before you can cross the bridge from “this guy I’m seeing” to “my dreamy boyfriend,” you’ve got to step up your game. You can start referring to her as “my girl” a few weeks in, but she’s going to need more to consider you her boyfriend. She’s got to see you as someone worth sticking with.
Do you leave her hanging or feeling like an afterthought? You might think waiting 12 hours to reply to her “Hey, what’s up: )” text is playing it cool, but she can see past your game. Indifference will leave her wanting more, but straight-up lack of respect will get you back to square one (and possibly in worse shape than when you started if she starts lighting up Twitter and Facebook with comments about how much of a tool you are.)
Bedroom prowess will only get you so far; you’ve got to do her right in a variety of ways. Kick things up a notch. Put off buying all the seasons of “Mad Men” and take her out to one of the swankiest restaurants in town. Take her to see her favorite singer, even if it means sitting through three hours of Celine Dion. Average guys do average things. Do you just want to be an average guy? No, you want to be a champ and make her forget Ryan Gosling ever existed. Be outstanding and a girlfriend you’ll have.
So Long, Bachelordom!
There’s no clear cut path to boyfriendhood, as no two girls are the same. The best you can do is 1) be confident 2) find a balance between indifference and interest and 3) go above and beyond whatever Joe Schmo’s doing.
Tons of guys just like you are wondering How to Seduce Women at this very moment. Do things the right way and you’ll be walking hand-in-hand with your new girlfriend while they look on in jealousy. Let someone else sit at home and watch “Family Guy” reruns all weekend. Your time has come.